"If anyone would come after me. He must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me, for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. Mathew 16:24-25

Thursday, January 9, 2014

What are you thinking?

This is one of the hardest questions I have ever been asked. Hard to believe, I know. Once you understand how a brain with ADD works maybe you will start to understand better.

Imagine you are looking through a foggy window at subway station. Subs race by with blinding speed. The subs have beautiful artwork painted on the sides. You strain to see the artwork but it is gone in a blur. Maybe a sub stops occasionally and you are a able to view the artwork a short time before it speeds away again. But even then the painting is so complex it is hard to understand. By the time you are beginning to understand and grasp the art it is gone again and you struggle to hold on to the essence of it. Then another sub whisks by with paintings on the side. Someone sees the struggle on your face. They ask you what is the matter? You tell them about the sub and artwork. They ask you to describe the art. It is nearly impossible and they don't understand. Perhaps it is so difficult to explain that you tell them that you just imagined the artwork and you really saw nothing at all.

That is what an ADD brain is like. Thoughts constantly flow through ADD people's brains but they are very hazy and hard to understand. Even when we try to focus on one (before we forget it and the next thought enters our mind) it is difficult to describe to others. The thought is like another language that only our brain understands. We struggle with the right translation to make sense of it to someone else. So when someone asks,

"What are you thinking?"

I think to myself:

Sometimes I go through the effort of trying to explain and sometimes I just use the cop-out of saying nothing. But that is actually rarely the truth. People with ADD rarely are thinking nothing. Even if nothing is in the forefront of their mind their sub-conscious is racing with thoughts. It just takes monumental effort to focus and explain these thoughts.

So what is the point of this post you may ask? Well there are a couple of reasons.

1. I want to get better at writing and translating my thoughts onto paper.
2. I want to continue to explain and sort out what ADD is for others understanding and my own so I may improve and better myself.
3. I believe I have something valuable to offer and I do not want to let the paintings of my mind race off before I forget them as I am apt to do.
4. I want to know your thoughts, experiences, opinion on the matter

Have you ever struggled to answer this question?
How does your brain work? How do you translate what's in your mind to paper or spoken word?
Does anyone think the way I do?

Any other comment related to this topic would be appreciated.

Ps: I have recently started taking a new ADD medicine that has so far been effective and lifted the fog off of my brain. I hope to continue posting more regularly God willing. I hope you enjoyed this post and learned something. I know it was therapeutic for myself.

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