Is scary...because its unknown. I wonder daily what am I going to do with the rest of my life? What will I choose to do with the time I have? What will I do that's worthwhile? How will I impact others and the world? Where am I going to end up? All these anxieties make it difficult for me to be positive and hopeful for the future. I'm impatient and just wish all these answers would come to me in a flash, some divine inspiration that would hit me out of the blue. I hate not knowing things, and not knowing what I'm going to do with the rest of my life is the worst kind of torture for me. When things get overwhelming I just have to stop and give it all to God. He takes my anxieties and gives me peace. I trust in him and have faith in his plan for my future for a while but I go back to worrying after a while. Sometimes I think I've found it, found what my calling is, my vocation. But nothing is certain and nothing has made me felt like that's definitely God's plan for my life. I'm hoping college will help me figure out what I want to do but I also want to figure out as soon as possible so I don't waste to much time taking classes I don't need. There's just so much out there that catches my interest and that I think I might like doing. Another fear I have is investing in something that would not be the best vocation for me and I would waste years of my life before I figured out I should be doing something else. I'll lay down careers I've thought about with pros/cons and you'll give me input into what you think I would be good at doing.
1. English Professor
I love reading and I love literature. I love spelling and knowing the English language. I think I want to teach and learn at the same time for my career and being a professor definitely entails both.
I don't like grammar at all, I don't like repetition I like exploring new things. As a teacher, repetition is a big part of the job and grammar is very important to being a professor. I just get worn out of writing sometimes, especially subjects that don't interest me very much. There's a ton of writing involved in English, maybe more than I can handle having, especially in Grad school. I don't like the idea of sitting behind a desk and grading stacks of papers. Its just not in my nature, I feel like part of my job has to be adventurous or I'll grow weary of it quick.
2. Private Counselor
I love to help people and learn from them at the same time. I love the interaction and the connection. I love having deep one on one conversations with people and always feel satisfied and that I learned something coming out of such conversations. I love to know things, I like to know drama (but not be in it haha).
I'm not very good with patience so I'm sure many of my clients would severely test my limits. I like talking to people I feel are on my level or higher but its hard for me to have many good talks with other people. Definitely a character flaw and one that I know I would have to get over in order to pursue this career. Sometimes I can be judgmental with people and if I feel like they ignore my advice or don't listen I can easily move on and give up on them which cannot happen in this field.
I love the idea of adventure as a career. Like I said earlier I love teaching and learning and that's a big part of what being a missionary entails. Teaching and learning about God and interacting with other fervent believers definitely appeals very much to me and makes me excited. Going to Africa and seeing how believers over their view and act out their faith definitely helped me see this as a possibility for me. I think it would be good for me and my spiritual life to be away from America and all its distractions for a long period in order to grow in my spiritual relationship with God. I would also love to physically get involved with helping other people in Africa or wherever I went if I became a missionary.
It would be really hard being away from my family and friends who I've grown up my whole life. I've always lived in the same place and heavily relied on my parents and mentors for guidance and it would be like placing myself in a boat alone to cross the ocean. I am very aware of the need for strong spiritual relationship with God and maturity of which I don't think I have now but I think I could grow into with time. Its definitely a career that you need to have a clear calling from God to go to and I don't think I've had it yet. Its not an easy life being a missionary and burning out is definitely a big concern. I don't want to lose my fire, desire, or faith while being a missionary. I wouldn't want to disappoint Quaker or any other church supporting me and counting on me to help and convert believers.
So that is my thoughts so far on career options and pros/cons. I'm sure more options will bring themselves to m attention and I will add them into my list of prayerful considerations. Please keep me in your prayers and ask God to reveal himself to me and give me guidance.